In marriage and long term relationships couples often start to take each other for granted. We stop wooing each other: no more flowers and breakfast in bed. Instead we drive children to sports, worry about paying bills or getting the next promotion. Everything else seems to have become more important than the couple; romance is non-existent and even sex seems to be a chore. The most common trap that couples fall into is not spending enough time together.

'Rekindling the flame' in counselling means exploring ways how to make more time for the marriage, and how to put more energy into the relationship. Partners are assisted to explore strategies to become more aware of each other's needs and how to fulfil them. This in turn will increase intimacy. Bringing more passion into the marriage can involve doing more of the things together both partners feel passionate about, or it may involve talking about how to bring more passion into the bedroom.