Sexual isues and our relationship are tightly interwoven, and to consider them in isolation from each other is at the least, naïve. I subscribe to the belief that the most important sex organ of the body is the brain.  

I support my clients to experience passion in their committed relationships. At the beginning of a relationship, our hormones can do that work for us, but that will diminish. Then come the "problems." It's those very "problems" (within a committed relationship) that hold the potential to growing love and intimacy which is one of the purposes and gifts of a long-term relationship.

The best sex, (and the best key to intimacy at all levels) comes from each person becoming strong in their own self (David Schnarch* uses the family systems term "differentiation" - i.e.the ability to stand on one's own two feet). The best teacher for marriage, is marriage - nobody is 'ready' for marriage before the wedding. And the best resource for sexual intimacy and passion is to grow within a committed relationship. So you can begin to see that couple counselling and sexual counselling are actually enriching aspects of the same process. Most (perhaps all) sexual "issues" stem from earlier (or current) relationship issues - often from within one's family of origin. The goal is to help clients to a new freedom to become and enjoy being a vital healthy sexual person, to the end that the freedom, love and intimacy in the relationship becomes possible.

 The most common problem I encounter is desire discrepancy, one partner wanting to have more sex than the other. While in most cases the men want to have more action, I am seeing an increasing number of women who want more, or 'better' sex. Other common sexuality issues include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, sex addition, and others.

 * Passionate Marriage (Holt: New York. 1997). This is one of my favorite books on sexual counselling.